In The Frame: 6-18-2023: Dads, The Creative Life, and Portraiture
Today, I’m Makin’ Waffles!
It’s Father’s Day, so I am going to be a bit brief with the post while also offering a deep dive into creativity for those who want it.
First, a note about being a dad. I wrote this on my Facebook page this morning.
I've spun around the sun plenty of times. Less than some, but more than others.
At this point, over half of my life has been spent as a father.
It came late to me—the idea of being someone's 'dad'.
I honestly didn't relish the idea at all. I wondered where I would find the time, the energy, the room in my life for a kid who would be so damn demanding.
My wife, who is patient, kind, and really sort of wonderful in all things, let me struggle but was always sharing her thoughts and why she would love to have a family.
At some point, I felt it was probably a good idea that we have a couple of rugrats so that when we got older, they could get good jobs and buy me stuff. (That was probably not well thought out, seems they have to be older to get a job and cannot find employment at 8 years old.)
And so after a while, I looked around at my life and found that I did indeed have the extra time, the extra attention, and the extra love to welcome three little girls into my life.
Those years went by especially fast. It seems only yesterday I was changing diapers, holding hands at the store, and trying my best to learn how to do the perfect ponytail.
I've done some cool things, some stupid things, some things that I will never share, and possibly some things that I should... but the best thing I ever wanted to be was just 'dad'. No fancy uniforms or shiny medals are awarded for that, just something you strive for.
(That being said, the period of introducing real food to the child can indeed create diapers full of the most toxic sludge known to mankind, and the simple act of breathing becomes your greatest fear. We all should get medals for that... lord.)
I went from never really wanting to be a dad to feeling exceptionally lucky to have had the experience.
Was it perfect?
Oh, hells no.
But, and I don't want my wife to worry, I do miss it.
My girls are all grown and have families and careers, and one of them has kids, so I get to be a Papa.
And that's cool. Papas never say no (unless it is harmful).
"Papa, I want ice cream for breakfast."
"I have vanilla or chocolate, which do you want."
For those of you who are fathers, I guess this is our day.
But to tell you the truth, I'd happily take one more day of trying to get a ponytail right in the middle, trying to tie those tiny shoes, or having that hand wrapped tightly around my little finger while walking up the aisle at Safeway.
Ya'll have a good one, dads.
A Creative Life
I was asked to present to Srini Rao’s private mentorship group a while back, so I am giving you the opportunity to see it if you haven’t before.
Here are the basics of the presentation, which is embedded below.
So you want to be a full-time creative?
Yeah, me too
Just know that it can feel like climbing Everest without a sherpa, particularly in our swipe-left, swipe-right, constantly on digital cosmos.
Tons of competition, trends flipping like pancakes—creatives are juggling social media like chainsaws. It can get to be overwhelming.
Everywhere we see “do this, then this, and don’t forget this other thing, and OMG you DID miss that other other thing…
On and on.
So I want to give you a few basics to help you get from where you are to where you are going without missing ten exits and running out of gas somewhere in the middle of Nevada.
Your Toolbox for a Creative Venture:
Social media, online platforms - the race is on, and it's breakneck.
Focus on project-based learning.
This is the stuff that gets a creator's blood pumping.
Learn to work with the tools designed to move you and your enterprise, the ones that fit… and leave the others alone.
Craft Your Creative Empire:
A creative venture isn't your typical business.
Creativity isn't a can of beans on a supermarket shelf.
It's a way of life.
Keep it simple, keep it neat, and keep it brief when plotting your business plan.
Overthinking and perfectionism are your foes.
One step at a time, just keep moving.
Stay in the Trenches:
Ever felt a boulder of negativity squash the hell out of your creativity?
That's resistance, mate.
What to do about resistance?
Ditch the expectations.
Let your creativity roam free.
Keep your eyes on the prize, your work.
There is no room for social media circus acts or whining about failed expectations.
Tune out the noise, and focus on THE WORK.
Manage Expectations
Riding shotgun with lofty or wildly exaggerated expectations can get bumpy.
So break it down. Little tasks, not carving out Mount Rushmore on a long weekend.
Plan your day, your week, your month in bite-sized pieces.
Don't get sucked into the comparison trap.
Remember, your journey is unique.
And if things go sideways, keep your chin up.
Focus on the work, and getting it done.
Kick-starting Action:
Success comes from defeating inertia.
Kick it into gear with anything. Anything at all.
Keep the ball rolling, defy resistance, and go all-in with your work.
Fear? Foreclose on that bastard - and get it out of your head.
Choose action.
Embrace Accountability:
Fall flat on your face? Own it.
No finger-pointing, no blame game.
Make "I choose" your mantra, not "I have to".
Flip the script from blame to gratitude.
A tweak in attitude can make a world of difference in your work, your life.
Be on the Move:
Keep busy, and keep going, even when resistance is nipping at your heels.
Especially when resistance is nipping at your heels.
Discover activities you love, like hot yoga, playing the drums, or listening to old Ramones albums.
Get your hands on self-help game-changers like "Audience of One" or "Atomic Habits".
Stay curious, stay hungry, and keep honing your craft and business.
Action as Mental Health Armor:
Doing stuff. Making stuff. Learning stuff.
They’re the antidote to being overwhelmed.
Even in the darkest corners, creativity can shine a light.
Don't let fear tie you down.
Act, reach out when you need a hand, and stay committed to your goals.
Life's About Small Tweaks:
Think about motorcycling - little nudges make big impacts. Lean left, drift left.
In motorcycling, it is understood that you will go where you look.
Same with life.
It's all about small course corrections in the right direction.
Don't let fear or expectations bog you down.
Keep your hands on the wheel (or bars) and your eyes on the road ahead.
Building a creative enterprise?
It's a wild ride that needs grit, elbow grease, and some calculated thinking outside of the box.
Focus on your work, keep expectations on a leash, and own your choices.
Once you overcome resistance, you'll have a shot at actually reaching your dreams.
Have You Ever Wanted to Up Your Game in Portraiture?
This is one of my favorite classes, and it has been too long since I have done it.
Environmental Portraiture Workshop.
We start mid-July… see this page for all the info.
A few of the images from the first time I ran the course. New material has been added.
